WARNING: if Chris Gee (OCA parent) asks you to go backpacking in the wilderness.... just say NO!
“It will be fun” he said.To the contrary, my friend.
We hiked 22 miles in 30 hours with 15 of the hours full of rain, hail, flooded rivers, lightning, thunder, tornado watches, and no cell phone service except for on the top of one of the ridgelines. When we got to the ridgeline and checked the weather, this is what we found.
We were surrounded by six tornado watches!
I spent weeks getting prepared for our trek. I bought the right stuff, borrowed some tools, and even lost almost 30 pounds to get ready for this voyage through the Ouachita National Forest. I did not, however, prepare for the weather that we faced unexpectedly. We knew that weather would be moving into this area, but it came faster than anticipated.
We treked 12 miles away from our car to a river crossing, but could not cross the river because it was up 10 feet due to the flooding. This meant we had to turn back and go 12 miles backwards just to get back to where we began. On the trip back we ran into another flooded river, but we had to cross it to get home. So I became the guinea pig and forged across the river with a rope so we could use it to guide everyone across.
As I was hiking out trying to get back to our cars and to civilization, I had several thoughts running through my mind, but one that I think is worth mentioning here.
Since my time as President of OCA I have seen students, teachers, families, and friends go through some tough “wilderness” experiences themselves. Unfortunately for some, to even categorize it as a “wilderness” experience is trivial compared to the reality some have faced. Often life seems unfair and unpredictable.
At this very moment, I assume some of our families are going through the wilderness now.
- Financial hardships
- Medical diagnosis
- Struggling with priorities
- Losing a loved one
- Marital issues
- This list could go on and on...
So, on that mountain I pondered, what tools do kids need to make it through life’s wilderness experiences? What should we (school and families) be doing/teaching our students to prepare them for the ‘wilderness moments’ of life?
Here are five practical thoughts:
1. Teach them that God is with them in the wilderness. (Biblical example: Mark 4--Jesus was in the boat during the storm.) On my trip God was present. I didn’t expect him to part the waters of the flooded river for me to cross, but I did depend on him to help me make good decisions when we reached difficult intersections. Our kids need to learn from us that God is our first life-line when the storms are raging.
2. Allow them to learn to deal with "low level" adversity moments when they’re young and don’t pretend that life is fair. Few things prepare young people for adult life more than working through adversity. Learning how to solve a problem, especially when it’s difficult, is an invaluable skill. So train your kids now in adverse moments. Walk them through problem-solving steps and help them learn how to do that themselves.
3. Surround your children with a village of people that love your kids and your family and lean on them during wilderness moments. A church family is a wonderful thing to have! I had never been on this trail before, and my outdoor experience was somewhat limited compared to others. So I depended on the people around me to help me make good decisions. Our kids need to know who they can depend on, and they need to feel safe going to those people for support.
4. Don’t let pride or anything else keep you from using a professional to guide you through the wilderness. This one is very important. Our kids need to know that professional help is available when they want it or need it. We need to provide professional guides to our kids when the rivers in their lives are flooding.
5. Find ways to create “grit” in your children. Duckworth, Peterson, Matthews, and Kelly (2007) explain, “The gritty individual approaches achievement as a marathon; his or her advantage is stamina. Whereas disappointment or boredom signals to others that it is time to change trajectory and cut losses, the gritty individual stays the course” (p. 1088). Are your kids gritty? When the weather is blowing and there are miles to go, do they understand that hard work is the key?
This adventure is one that I’ll never forget. It was exciting, scary, and exhausting. But looking back, I’m proud of the hard work it took and all of the preparation I did to get ready. But it’s especially important to remember that we can’t prepare for all of life’s storms. They will appear out of nowhere. We need to be teaching our kids these lessons during the calm times so they are ready when the rivers seem impassable.
